No matter what point you’re at in your life, your heart is entangled in a seemingly messy web of relationships gone wrong and relationships gone right, relationships yet to start and relationships about to end. Sometimes it may even feel like there are simply too many strings tugging for you to keep up with. Too many people you could disappoint, too much of your heart being bet on.
Movies and TV shows show us that the right course of action is to wallow in self pity and sit around until the person you’ve been heartbroken over shows up at your door begging for forgiveness. Unfortunately, real life is very different, and the only person who shows up at your door tends to be the pizza man.
Now this life is yours, and you have the world in your hands when your heart lays shattered on the floor. You could throw your anger and frustration into the abyss and find an outlet (or as my friend would say, an inlet) through sex, wasting your time away by clutching at some warm body whose name you can’t even recollect. You could bruise your knuckles while creating crevices in a wall you’ll have to fix the next day with hard earned money that would’ve rested better in a locked box. There are so many ways you could waste away your time to drown out the screams of your shattered emotions that they could hardly be counted.
You look at these relationships and pray for a future with them, meanwhile destroying the most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life, the only one that you’ll never be able to shake.
Now pick up a mirror. Look into the beautiful eyes staring back at you and notice how they twinkle. Give a smile and notice how they light up, how when you laugh a sparkle can be seen within them.
Now, glance down at your lips. Notice how they have still have the ghost of a smile from when you laughed, and notice how beautiful and easy that curve is to keep. Observe your cheeks, your forehead, your ears, your nose, your freckles, your pimples, your dimples, all your perfect imperfections. And now take a deep breath, and repeat after me, “I am better than this pain. I am better than they’ve made me feel. I love myself. I love you.”
No, no. Go back to that mirror. I know you didn’t do it. Say those words, those exact words, out loud, and address them to your soul, your beautiful, flawed, unique soul that’s desperate to be loved by you. And then do the same tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that. Remind yourself to love yourself, because it’s just not worth it to determine your self-worth based on someone else’s opinion of you. You must live within an esteem of your own beauty and let it douse those around you, taking the first step in fixing your broken heart.