I truly believe that by simply looking at the title, you can surmise what this post will be about. But of course, I will further elaborate.
Let’s begin with I had no need for this phrase before I entered college. I liked to throw around phrases like hook up buddies and friends with benefits, but had never really thought about the actual, very real situations that arose between people who entered dynamics such as this. Before college, I always thought that if you had sex together, you knew each other and would talk every once in awhile. Today, I can smile at my naivety with the knowledge that most people who like to hook up on Saturday nights on the regular don’t actually know much about each other. Most of them only know each other by drunken kisses and hazy touches. But that’s not what we’re here to discuss today exactly.
When someone enters in a dynamic of bed friends, feelings are always involved on at least one side. I like to define bed friends as someone you hook up with whom you don’t talk to in public, but text frequently and/or have (deep) discussions after sex, often staying with each other until the late morning after a night together. In my experience, such relationships allow women to develop feelings, ones that are often quite deep, because an emotional connection forms through such conversations after sex. Texting tends to send signals, and that furthers the connection, or so one side thinks.
The problem with such dynamics is that as open as they may seem, they are actually pretty detached, as they are only really tied together by sex. They are tied together by a physical action that can be performed by most people, making it that much less special. And often, these dynamics cause more pain and emotional trauma than they’re worth.
But if you find yourself in this situation, do not despair! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you find yourself on the side that has caught feelings, be brave. Be courageous and take the dive and make your move. Ask them to go out for breakfast or some light lunch, or perhaps have an open talk about your feelings, depending on what you’re more comfortable with. I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but you are so beautiful and wonderful that to put yourself through such pain is not worth it. Believe in yourself and rock what you’ve got, and just go all in, or step all out. There no point in throwing yourself through such pain if there is no real end goal.
So breathe, smile, and go get em- don’t wait and scare yourself out of it, you owe it to yourself.
For more, check out What is love?, “To The Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter”, What We Want, Wait For The Guy, Take A Chance, Boys Like You, Can A Guy and A Girl Ever Just Be Friends?, and Friends You’ll Make In College