Who You Used To Be

Apparently, every 7 years, our entire makeup of cells is depleted and made new, so that every 7 years, we are technically completely new people- there’s nothing that’s the same about us except slight physical resemblances. Of course, as this whole scientific thing is happening, there’s also a perhaps more obvious change happening, and that’s within oneself. The change that you feel deep inside you about how you view the world, how you choose to interact with it, and how you let it interact with you.

It’s difficult to look back on who you used to be and all your mistakes and faults and smile as though it means nothing- of course it doesn’t mean nothing. It means the world. Every time you fucked up or blundered you took a step forward to become who you sit there and embody, who you tell yourself you are every day, even through gritted teeth. Whoever you were once upon a time, it may be hard to accept them or even understand why you ever were that person, but it’s vital to who you are today to fully embrace that person and understand that being that person once upon a time allowed you to become who you are today, and will allow you to become who you will be in the future.

It’s easy to look back in hindsight and see things you would change or discourage, but what’s done is done and the effects of it will continue to ripple through your life. You must learn to forgive who you were in order to fully accept who you are now. You can’t expect to live out your life with pride and love if you can’t love a part of yourself- a part that some people will forever have engraved in their minds as being the only version of yourself available. It may be ugly and painful, but it happened for a reason. There is always a reason for it, and whatever it may, just accept it and tuck it in your back pocket, even if you don’t like it. You’re here today for a reason, a good reason, and the impact you will have on those around you will be unfathomable. Don’t be afraid to accept the mistakes you used to be and understand that although they were you at one point, they are no longer the only part of you.

I once read that you should never regret anything that once made you happy, and at first I resented that statement. I regretted so many relationships, experiences and people that it seemed silly I should just accept them and move on. And yet once I started embracing this idea, I was able to finally accept the girl I used to be and use that to grow into the woman I am meant to be. I had to learn to accept and let go of the past in order to grab onto the next good thing that was coming my way, and it’s a decision I have yet to live to regret.


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