Evaluating Love

Happy Valentine’s Day! Upon this day of grand gestures of love and being extra about affection, I like to avoid most people who are coupled up and in love- perhaps because it reminds me that I’m lonely or perhaps because it’s just because love tends to make me uncomfortable.

However, love is everywhere. And therefore I’ve decided to accept it as part of our life, a part that makes all the ugly and painful parts worth it. As one of my close friends likes to remind me, love is worth the pain in the end (apparently). But we all view it differently- some through cynical lenses, some through rather positive ones. And through this post, I was given the chance to explore how different people are affected by it.img_4473-2

Personally, I think love is scary. It’s going into the unknown with eyes shut and hands
cuffed, hoping that you’ll stumble in the right direction eventually. It’s truly horrifying- it’s placing your heart and happiness in the hands of another and hoping they’ll treat it well. It’s letting your future be determined by someone’s else’s thoughts and feelings, and making that a pivotal point in how you choose to view yourself.

But on a lighter note, love can be beautiful. It can be crooked teeth and shining eyes, arms spread open always ready to welcome you home. It can be a carefully handwritten note laying on your bedside table with a warm cup of coffee or a light riff about being stuck together, forever. It can be what makes up for all the nights of pain and anger- whoever remains to be the object of your affection can become that person who puts the moon and all the stars in the night sky, spreading beauty in your drab and boring world.

But hey, that’s just me. Here’s a few more opinions-

“Love is kindness.”

“With love, I saw a person who would unconditionally support me. Someone I was really comfortable having a conversation with.”

“When I think I was in love, I’m not really sure I saw anything in him. I mean yeah, I’m pretty sure he cared about me and really loved me at one point, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind to love him back. I think the only reason I stayed with him for so long was because I liked all of the attention I was getting, as opposed to being insulted or criticized- or, even worse, feeling invisible enough to think that nobody would notice if I just disappeared. I think I loved him for that reason alone; the attention that I sought in so many other people I managed to find in him. And that gave me a sense of relief for quite some time and I almost felt like a normal person when I was with him, but soon enough he was gone. I think he grew tired of dealing with me and my constant problems, or he just got too frustrated trying to fix me. Maybe he just thought I was a lost cause and I wasn’t worth wasting anymore time on, so he just left. I don’t know if he actually didn’t mean anything to me or if it’s too painful to admit that he meant more to me than anyone I have ever met.”

“In love, I saw, as we all do when we think we have found the one, a future which was much more fantasized than the current state of the relationship, which was toxic. I saw a challenge. I saw someone who intrigued me unlike anyone else, someone who didn’t let me all the way in and I let it destroy me. At the end of the day I saw patterns and felt comfortable with the fact that I knew what I was getting myself into. He was the most familiar pain I have ever enjoyed.” -Julia Pusateri

“In love, I see protection, happiness, and freedom.”

“I fell in love the first time I talked to her- it just came naturally. I loved the way she would smile at me, I mean, I’ve never had anyone look at me the way she did. And I know now that I’ve never wanted anyone as bad as I wanted her, in those moments. Just being around her brightened my whole day, and getting over her is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“Although love is the often viewed as the bane of human existence, love is also often a burden to humans. Yet to hate love seems irrational, so there may be no way around it.”

“Okay, well, when you love someone, you’ll do whatever you possibly can to be with them, to make sure that they’re happy. But love is hard to find because there are people who say that they love you but then it turns out they actually don’t and you’ve just wasted all your time on them. But when you do find love, it’s a really exciting feeling to have.”

“Love is when you scream at your mother to leave you alone, but you would die if she did and you know she won’t. That’s the best way to describe it- I’ve never loved anyone romantically.”

“I think there is a huge stigma around saying I love you to a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member. Just because you say “I love you” doesn’t mean you actually mean it. You know someone loves you when they will do anything for you. If they demonstrate unconditional love, it’s real love.”

“Throughout the years, love and passion change, going from a level of minimum complexity to simply understand the other to a level of almost instantaneous comprehension, reaching conclusion and thinking the same things at the same time. This is something that can never change if the relationship is to remain and be strong.”

“Love is an emotion that we look for since a young age. It always comes unexpectedly and changes the way you live and see your life. It grows and transforms through the years, and exists at the basis of human life. It’s not easy to keep two people together and in love which is why it’s easier to ignore it and try not to defend it, avoiding any chances of being in pain.”

 

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