To My Younger Self

To my younger self,

I am sorry for not always standing up for you.

I’m sorry I let you think that at times you weren’t enough. I’m sorry I let you believe that you needed to change. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you that you didn’t need to be like anyone else. I’m sorry that I allowed you to be afraid of yourself; to be afraid of living life authentically. I’m so sorry that I let you fear yourself.

I’m sorry that I allowed you to believe that your worth was determined by the number of people who liked you and by the grades you received on your report card.

I am sorry that I didn’t stop you from hiding in the shadows. I’m sorry I didn’t encourage you to instead let your voice be heard. I’m sorry I prevented you from living loudly and freely. I’m sorry I never told you that you were enough, or that you were whole and complete.

I’m sorry.

Although it might not seem like much, I can promise you that I am here now. I promise that I will do my very best to make up for all of the times I didn’t take care of you in the ways that I should have.

But I do hope you understand that I was trying; that I never stopped trying. I always had faith in you.

I hope you know that I never intentionally put you down or tried to hurt you. I hope you know that despite how I may have treated you, you have still lived a beautiful life this far. You have still been compassionate and courageous, and free in your own incredible ways. I hope you know that no matter what mistakes I made, I will always look back on your life with nothing but fondness and pride.

But from today and on, I promise that I will support you. I promise that we will finally be on the same team.

I promise that I will tell you that you are valuable, and that for the most part, I will truly believe it.

From today on I will raise you up higher than I ever have before, and when you fall down, I will not let you stay down. I will lift you back up, again and again and again.

From today and on, I will be your friend.

-@colleengeorgeee (via @thoughtscatalog // instagram)

 

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