Can A Guy and A Girl Ever Just Be Friends?

Although a commonly asked question, actually sitting down and trying to figure out what I really think about it is way harder than I thought it would be. On the one hand, I want to say that obviously it’s a stupid myth and guy and girls can definitely be just friends, but then I start to think about those around me, and start to sway away from that idea.

In a way, I think the best way to answer this question is to distinguish guy and girl relationships between group and one on one. When they’re one on one, many relationships tend to be romanticized and may blossom into a romantic relationship, but it seems as though in group those friendships can certainly happen. I think it’s more about how close you get to each other and whether you pass a threshold of knowing just a little too much about each other for a little too long, which pushes the friendship into more of a sibling relationship.

So I guess my answer is yes, guys and girls can be just friends, but it depends upon the people and who else is involved because it’s true that society romanticizes such friendships and makes it seem as though that’s all there is to live for.

But many people have opinions on this topic, and here’s just a few:

“It’s like two gay men being best friends and there’s no stronger bond than that so I think the only people who don’t think you can just be friends are those who over sexualize things when it’s unnecessary. The idea exists because friendships between a guy and a girl usually start because there’s a sexual attraction between one of them which tends to make things awkward or renders the friendship terrible as soon as one of the two finds a significant other.”

“Yes, of course they can be friends but I think the stigma exists because flirting happens easily.”

“I definitely think a guy and a girl can be just friends with no romantic interests involved. Perhaps the myth that they can’t be exists because people feel the need to assume that a boy and a girl are hanging out just because each of them wants a relationship, since society sometimes portrays ‘success’ in life as having a spouse and family and so people assume that’s automatically the goal of the two people of the opposite sex who are hanging out. But based on personal experience I have guy friends who I’m not attracted to at all and they’re just good friends of mine.”

“It depends on the guy, but my friends agree with me in the fact that it’s not hard to be just friends with a guy. One of them says she always makes sure the line with her guy friends is really clear.”

“I absolutely think a guy and girl can just be friends. I have one guy friend who I’ve had for years and I’ve never thought of him as anything but that and I’m positive he’d say the same thing about me. I think that myth comes from the same thinking that feeds the whole concept of the ‘friend zone’. People assume that guys are sex-obsessed and girls are sex objects so if there’s any relationship between the two it has to be sexual or romantic. I think when people say guys and girls can’t be friends they’re underestimating both guys’ and girls’ capacity to be in a platonic and meaningful relationship.”

“Yes I think most of the time they can just be friends. The myth probably exists because people think that guys are unable to just want to talk to girls to be friends and they have ulterior motives and vice versa but usually, that’s untrue.”

“I don’t think that a guy and a girl can be just friends because if one of them feels more than the other and they admit it then it just makes the whole thing weird and they can never really go back to their old friendship. I think a guy and a girl could be friends if they’re within a larger group but I think it’s hard for just a guy and a girl to be friends independent of any group. In terms of why people think this I think it’s just like from movies and TV shows because I have this opinion but I’ve never had this experience nor known someone who has but I still think it’s not possible.”

“I do think a guy and a girl can be friends and I think it is awesome when they are best friends with no romantic expectations. I think the myth that they can’t be friends exists because some people want romantic relationships so bad they don’t see how guys and girls could just be friends with no romance. People seem to think that if you start becoming close with someone of the opposite sex, dating or some sort of romantic relationship is bound to happen.”

“Yes they can- I have lots of guy friends. I mean in the end like if both people are attracted to each other they will obviously date.”

“I think that there is always at least one person in the friendship that thinks it could be a romantic relationship.”

“Well, it depends on the relationship. My two closest friends are guys and I just see them as brothers. You just get to know them and get close and you just never really thing about being anything else with them. But I guess the idea exists because when you first meet someone you’re not really close to them so you want to date them- you tend to think of them as perfect, unlike when you actually get to know them. They’re also my best friends and I would never want to do anything else with them.”

“Ok yes I do think it is possible. I think that the myth exist because we are constantly surrounded by the idea that girls and guys are just meant to have romantic relationships. Almost all the movies, books and TV shows portray relationships between girls and boys as being romantic. Even if they just start out as friends the plot always ends up with the two dating. I also think that society just pushes this idea that girls and guys are meant to be romantically involved and because of this so many people have it in their heads that they can’t just be friends with the opposite gender. I think that this myth is something that a lot people just hold with them and don’t even realize that it is affecting the ways they see others because it is so ingrained in our society.”

“It’s the patriarchy. If women can’t be equal to a man in friendship, then they cannot be equal ever. This concept is made to perpetuate male dominance in society. I don’t agree.”


One thought on “Can A Guy and A Girl Ever Just Be Friends?

  1. Rajat malik says:

    Quite right Giorgia. A boy and girl can surely be friends. I, myself, have a girl as one of my best friend and I get a lot to know about girls just because of her. Why they become sad? and all these things. It’s simply an amazing thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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